Voluntarily Inviting Upheaval

I got a puppy last week. My sweet little Maltese, Maya died October 24, 2015. I spent the last year investigating different breeds, looking at puppies and repeatedly convincing myself that life is easier and much more tidy without a pet. Dogs require daily attention and I was feeling selfish. In the last few weeks I had an increase in my awareness of people and their dogs. While out on my daily walks I would remind myself I could choose whether or not I wanted to go on a walk whereas the dog owners had to go. I didn’t have to hold a leash and work on proper dog-walking behavior. Again and again telling myself I was better off. Until I just couldn’t take it anymore! I started looking at “puppy porn” as my husband and I termed my actions. Last Wednesday I saw the very puppy I had been hoping for and she was available. I thought about it, I prayed about it, I asked my husband and a few hours later I brought her home. I haven’t slept an eight hour night since and I am exhausted! The first two days I spent just holding her, loving on her and taking her outside to “go potty” every hour. I cried a lot…not tears of exhaustion but tears of joy within my heart. Joy so big it has been almost overwhelming at times. My little puppy (who still has no name because we can’t agree on one 🙂 ) reminds me so much of Maya I have accidentally slipped and called her “Maya”. That won’t be her name…she needs her own name and identity. So here I write, having missed last week and a day late this week with a sweet little furry love-muffin resting her head on my feet. I’m sure there are many posts to come with the lessons I am learning through her 🙂