My maternal great-grandfather, John Saxe Headley valued his children. So much so he wrote about them in an editorial for his newspaper, The Hutchinson Herald in Menno, SD back in the early 1900’s. He viewed each one of his nine children as a million dollars. He saw himself as a millionaire nine times over! His bank account didn’t reflect it, but his mind and heart did. I never knew my great-grandpa John but I have a feeling if I did I would have felt really good about myself after being with him.
Do you have people in your life who believe in you? People who see your value? When we don’t experience being valued simply because we exist it can really mess with us. Some follow unproductive paths, flailing from job to job never quite feeling enough. Some excel excessively trying to prove they are worth something but somehow never satisfying that emptiness inside. No amount of accolades or bank account balances seems to be enough. All are scattered around the continuum but few find themselves in the balanced spot in the middle.
One of the best methods I know that can help you heal in this area is a Process Group. It’s like group counseling but better. Through the careful facilitation of an effective coach/counselor/therapist, a Process Group gets deep at the heart of what’s holding you back and getting in the way of moving forward in your life. Wounds that feel like holes in your soul are filled and healed through the group members. Taking in the ingredients you didn’t get while growing up helps you live a healthier more satisfying life. You just might hear, “You’re worth a million!”
Categories: Acceptance, Depression, Emotional Healing, Growth, Healing, Parent-wounds, Recovery, Relationships
Tags: believe in yourself, confidence, Hutchinson Herald, intrinsic value, John Saxe Headley, Menno SD, process groups, value and worth
I was flying back from my monthly Counselor Training Program with Dr. John Townsend and Scott Makin. In typical, slightly high-maintenance-though-I-like-to-think-of-it-as-self-care fashion, I brought my own Yogi Chai Rooibos tea bag. My tea tag said “Grace brings contentment”. I contemplated that thought. During my process group earlier that day, I worked on pieces of me that I prefer to hide. Pieces like insecurity, criticism, perfectionism, and resentment. I don’t like admitting those parts exist. I prefer the place where I’m aware of my flaws and broken bits but I don’t have to look at those parts, just know they are there. There are times when that stance is appropriate. My process group is not one of those places. A Cloud and Townsend process group is where deep integrative work occurs. Every member of the group is expected to peel back the layers and observe, admit, confront, accept, and integrate the icky or hurt parts within. My group is chock full of accomplished therapists and group leaders. The caliber of these individuals is enough to bring up my insecurities and call into question the sanity of my decision to attend this training. “I’m not good enough!” This would be paralyzing except the safety of the container is iron clad. Everyone, no matter the degree, training, or accomplishments is shedding their layers and exposing all their broken and wounded parts. We share a common bond, “You know the most protected parts of me, parts I may not have been aware existed prior to this training, and you accept me…all of me.” Outside of some pretty good, though temporary, dangerous and illegal drugs, I don’t know of a state of mind that brings more completeness and strength. At first, after exposing myself to the group, I felt naked and embarrassed. Once that passed, a calming completeness settled in where shame once lived. Now I feel the contentment that comes with grace, just like my tea bag promised.
Categories: Relationships, Self-Help
Tags: being real, brokeness, Cloud and Townsend, contentment, emotional health, grace, healing, insecurities, process groups, revealing truths, safe container, wounds