When was the last time you did something fun? I’ll bet a bunch of you are exasperated by that question. “Fun?! Who has time for fun?” This response tells me a few things: 1. You don’t have much fun and 2. You don’t see the value in it. We tend to believe we must get all of our work finished before we can have fun. The problem is, our work is never really finished. As soon as we complete one project another is creeping into the spotlight, and another, and another… If you wait until you are finished with all of your work before you have fun, you aren’t going to have fun.
Allowing time for fun rejuvenates us and prepares us for more effective time use. When we slog through work with the thought, “One day I’ll get to have some fun” we are actually less productive than if we incorporate fun into our life. Having fun is part of self care and self care is crucial if you want to lead a healthy, balanced life. So, what will you do today for fun?
This is my niece Hailey and her boyfriend, Ryan. They are inspiring. What’s sad to me is the idea of simply living life to the fullest is refreshing…it should be the norm for all of us!
“Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it.” Andy Warhol
I firmly believe we all have beauty, meaning and purpose. I often use the illustration of a tiny high alpine flower in a remote area where no human foot will ever be set. Its beauty shines for God to see. Its purpose is not defined by human applause or approval. Its purpose is defined by its Creator. And that is how it is with all of us. Some will be known by the multitudes and some only by those in their tiny circle but all have beauty and meaning and purpose. Keep this in mind when you feel insignificant or overlooked. Our significance is found in the eyes of our Creator and that is all we need!
I’m realizing more and more the hardships I face are always used to comfort another. Last week my 20 year old my son had an extremely bizarre experience which sent him to the ER. Since he goes to school just 20 minutes from home, his step-mother and I also found ourselves at the ER. One event led to a series of events all filled with questions and concerns. While the even itself is over, the aftermath is not.
As I shared my experience, my fears, my sadness with others I found comfort. The most comforting came from a mother whose son has walked a similar road as mine. As I thanked her for her sweet salve, I realized I felt a conflict about her situation. I was sad for her but thankful she knew what I might be going through. Then it struck me: when we walk hard roads we are equipped to walk with another who is on the same road. If I skip happily down the road of pain because I don’t have pain, I have no business being on that road.
While I don’t really want more pain in my life, I am learning to embrace each experience as a connection to others. I am more effective in my work with clients, I am more compassionate with friends. It’s a fascinating twist to the human experience; the more I experience the challenges, pain, sadness and disappointments of life, the more qualified I am to sit in the muck with others. If my life goes easily and always as planned, I am ill-equipped to say anything to anyone who is actually facing hardship. With that, I tentatively say, “Bring it on!”
Here’s an article I resonate with. I hope it’s helpful for you. 5 Huge Life Lessons
Our lives are filled with so much out of our control like illnesses, political decisions, weather, other people’s choices… So what’s a person seeking to live a healthy life supposed to do? Look at each situation in your life and pull it apart, investigate it. What’s really going on? Who are the players? What is their role? Is this something you have absolutely no control over in the happening part of it? Where do you have control?
We always have some control. At the very least, we can control what we are going to do in any situation. If a person has a gun to my head, I can still make choices around my words, my thoughts and my actions. I might end up shot anyway because I don’t have control over the other person. I can dress appropriately for the weather, but I can’t control what the weather does. I can take care of my body to the best of my ability, but I can’t make it be healthy. I can write a letter or call my Representatives in the US government, but I can’t force them to vote how I want.
When we look at and act on the areas where we do have control we get a sense of empowerment, which usually spurs us on to take more action within our control. Remember when exercising control to keep it in the realm of healthy, legal and wise. Very rarely you might find yourself dealing with an oppressive government or situation which might call you to do something illegal. I’m thinking of the underground railroad during the time of slavery. It was illegal to provide shelter and escape for the slaves, but people did it anyway because the law was wrong. Breaking the law was about preserving human decency, not taking it away.
Most of us aren’t, and hopefully will never be, in that type of situation. For now, find the areas in your life where you think you have no control and give it another go. Process through it and find strength in your God-given right to decide how you want to deal with it. 🙂
Categories: Acceptance, Boundaries, Emotional Healing, Growth, Healing, Recovery, Relationships, self care, Self-Help
Tags: acceptance, anger, challenges to growth, Control, creating change
Just a friendly reminder to find beauty in your daily life. Let that be part of your focus each day. When we are looking for beauty, it helps us deal with the parts of life that don’t seem beautiful at all.
For those of you wondering about Anna, she is back at school and doing well 🙂
I took a break from everything for a few days over the holidays. It wasn’t intentional, it just happened and it felt awesome! I had to pick up a few dropped pieces afterwards but it was still worth it. Life can get so busy sometimes it’s easy to forget to just be, not do. Sometimes life is so painful we avoid the being so we don’t have to feel; the doing serves as a painkiller of sorts. Some days we need more being and feeling. Some days we need a break from the feeling. Too much feeling can overwhelm us.
Find the balance that works for you of feeling and doing. Everyone is different. Our needs vary. I need a lot of being and feeling. I need time to just sit and ponder. In that space emotion rises to the surface. I identify it, understand it, sit with it, decide what I want to do because of it, then let it go ~ until the next time it shows up. Then I go through the same process. The more I allow myself to intentionally be with my emotions, processing them not just swirling in them haphazardly, the less control my emotions have over me.
Make time to find your balance between doing and feeling.
Categories: Acceptance, Emotional Healing, Growth, Healing, Processing Thoughts and Emotions, Recovery, self care, Self-Help
Tags: balance, peace, recovery, understanding