That Icky Feeling

Do you ever have those days when you are certain you have done something wrong but you can’t quite put your finger on it? It’s a feeling of…”wrongness”. I woke up in the middle of the night with that feeling and I just can’t shake it. I’m a recovering co-dependent people-pleaser. When I step into realms and bring honesty and transparency sometimes I feel all icky inside. I tell my clients this is normal. When our strongest neural pathway is to please and we step out of pleasing, it’s going to feel bad…it does.

What do I do when I feel this ickiness inside? The wrongness? The bad? I usually try to figure out if I actually did something wrong. This task can get tricky because my view or filter may be skewed toward people-pleasing. From that perspective, nearly everything I did was wrong. I can ask trusted, wise people in my life what they think. I can look at people-pleasing behaviors and see if my words or actions were about 90 degrees away from people-pleasing (I think of 180 degrees, the total opposite on the spectrum of people-pleasing, as narcissistic/self-pleasing to an extreme). I sometimes process during a walk outside. And, as a God-believing person, I pray and seek God’s guidance.

I think the icky feeling is a good sign that I have taken big steps away from people-pleasing. It’s rarely comfortable when we are changing. Seeking comfort will keep me stuck.

Free!

Free!

Categories: Acceptance, co-dependency, Emotional Healing, Growth, Healing, Recovery, Self-Help | Tags: , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

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8 thoughts on “That Icky Feeling

  1. Janeen

    Read this 3 times this morning and forwarded to my husband, daughter and fav sister. THEN I read it again where u say its a “good sign that Ive taken big stwpa away from people pleasing”! Big SIGH…..its why I see u and read these. Thank u! and ME TOO. Maybe the ” wrongness” will go away?!?! And wholehearted living will replace it? Thanks Karen. Much love.

  2. Barbara

    Love the “Honesty” your writing brings.

  3. Candy Biederman

    Boy another good analysis!! Thanks Karen!

    Candy Biederman Be at Peace

    >

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