Clinging to Life and Seeking Death

It’s been an interesting week in the world. Two news stories that captured my mind are the Kurdish family being rescued by helicopter and Robin Williams’ death. One family desperately clinging to a chance to live and another in such anguish he escaped life. I don’t intend to convey judgment here. I have stood on the precipice of ending my emotional pain, it was years ago but the moment is easily retrieved. I understand when life is so painful we choose to hit the eject button. I don’t recommend this approach; I am not an advocate for suicide…I simply understand the why.

I find humans fascinating. We are capable of extreme opposites. We can value and uphold life, we can take it away. The very same person can actually do both. Our circumstances and frame of mind are what essentially dictate which end of the pendulum we are on at any given time. We are not robots into whom we program one set way of thinking all the time. We ebb and flow, we meander, we ricochet. Which is scary because we can want life and death in a matter of minutes. We need an anchor. We need something to tether ourselves to. This doesn’t mean we won’t ever be on the pendulum swinging back and forth, an anchor simply provides some stability in a world with very little.

Recovery groups, like AA, incorporate a Higher Power into their program. This provides a recognition that I am not all there is, I must yield to One greater than me. Personally, I believe in God. I find He provides an anchor filled with truth, wisdom, and a treasure chest overflowing with grace and compassion. Whether I am living in sheer terror (which quite honestly, in this part of the world is rare, so the most I’ve experienced is moderate fear) or immense bliss (of which there seems to be an abundance here and I have experienced the peace of all going well…not currently, but even today I know I have it better than most of the people in the world) I can ground myself to my Anchor and know He is God and I am not. I may not like or understand my circumstances, but I know they provide opportunities for me to gain clarity on who I am in relation to who God is.

Whether you are clinging to life in a helicopter or searching for the eject button, I recommend finding a source of Solid Grounding to which you can cling.

Categories: Depression, Growth, Recovery | Tags: , | Leave a comment

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