Sometimes I get discouraged. Can we really change our thoughts, attitudes and actions? This business of changing, growing, being the best we can be is hard work! I can’t sit in autopilot, just operating the way I always have and expect myself to be healthier. I know this is true when it comes to physical health. I have to get up a little earlier to fit in a walk before I head out the door, which means I have to think about it the night before when I set my alarm. I actually need to get up when the alarm goes off. I have to tell myself, “Karen, if you don’t get up you are not going to have time to walk. If you don’t walk, your muscles will begin to atrophy (which they do a lot faster at 47 than they did when I was 30). Your back and neck are going to hurt. Your clothes will get tight. OK, OK I’m getting up.” It’s all very intentional.
So it is with my mind and emotions. My last post on grabbing the steering wheel of your emotions has come around and slapped me in the face. I have had to say to myself several times in the last week, “You are responsible for how you feel, you are responsible for how you feel, you are…” to keep me from giving in to my automatic responses. I want to lash out at others. I want them to change, not me. I want this to be easier!!! But, it’s not. My job is to put one foot in front of the other. To take one moment at a time, to breathe, to sort things out – Why am I feeling what I’m feeling? Where do I have control? What is mine to own in this situation? I also benefit by pausing and looking back over the course of my life. What is different since I have been on my growth path? Oh yes, I’m willing to take more risks. I don’t live in safe mediocrity. I don’t beat myself up as often as I once did. I am softer. I like the changes, which means…all this work is worth it!
I have also learned none of us can do this on our own. I have worked with my own therapists and coaches, I have been in a recovery group and I have friends who are linking arms with me as we continue on the path of healing and growth. I encourage you to seek out the help you might need as you journey toward healing. You may need to find a counselor/therapist, a coach or recovery group to help you in your quest. Supportive friends you can trust are mandatory if you want to see true lasting change.
We can heal, we can grow, we can change. It takes being intentional, staying with it, and supportive people.